Three things that no one ever told me about having a baby...

When I announced I was pregnant, so many people had advice for me. And most of it I was aware of because almost everyone I knew had kids. Oh, and because I am very observant. :) Some of the advice actually annoyed me because it seemed so obvious! I was going to have morning sickness (which is "not only in the morning", said everyone and their mother). I was going to lose sleep (one of the biggest downfalls of being a mommy). I shouldn't laugh at people who sneeze and tinkle in their panties because I would be doing that sooooon (say that "soon" in a sing-song voice... makes it sound better). Oh, and the best one was, "Don't do it. I'll give you mine." Uh, no thanks.

Penny is one month old today. I am exhausted but she is a very good baby. A little needy for my taste, but she's a baby so she's forgiven. And she's cute, so there's that too! Out of all the advice and information I got out of everyone (and yes, their moms), I had to discover 3 things on my own. In just the first month. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Everywhere you go, you smell baby poop and formula. Even when the baby is not with you. And you have showered. And you haven't changed a diaper since showering or fed her. That smell is there. I think it is stuck in my kitchen sink too. And I rinse out the bottles when she is done. The smell follows me. Penelope smells great! Everything else smells like poop and formula. It is so weird and no one told me!

2. No one told me NOT to open and wash all the bottles I got at baby showers. In fact, I think I was advised to clean them all and have them ready when Penny got home. I got 4 different kinds (totally my intention...), washed them and organized them for our baby's homecoming! She only liked the bottles with little nipples! Which is funny because my nipples... yeah, nevermind my nipples. I'll just say good thing I couldn't breast feed, ha! Anyway, almost every bottle I had had these huge nipples and awesome fat bottles with some sir reduction crap, blah blah blah. No, Penny had to have the bottles that I only had 3. They are good bottles. Dr. Brown with the little tube straw thing that helps with gas and colic, yada yada yada. But I only had 3 for feeding every 2-3 hours! The other 24 bottles? She didn't like them. And I can't return them. Maybe I can use them later. Or maybe I'll use them when I get older and have no teeth. We'll see.

3. No one told me babies can fart harder than adults. I can hear Penelope fart from across the house. I'm serious. Her daddy even shakes his head in amazement at our little farting angel. It is like having 2 grown adults farting in this house. My windows shake more now than when we lived near Ft. Bragg. The dogs run outside barking thinking that there is a storm coming. I have seen Penny levitate above her Boppy pillow. I'm not lying. It's a good thing she is so cute. And, farts are funny. :)

That's it for today. I am sure there are other things I wasn't told, but, like I was advised by all mothers out there (and their mothers), my memory is bad and I can't remember. 

Amy & Penny out.